RIP Me

Here I sit,
My pyre lit,
Vodkas all in a row.
The path ahead,
Same as behind,
Nowhere left to go.

No, I’m not dying. But just like Pink Floyd, I am tired of running around on the same old ground, year after year. The beauty of life is that on any given day you can wake up and change yours, and the beauty of not wearing underwear is when the winds of change blow, you can really feel it.

In two weeks I’ll turn 54. I think I’m a little older than my father was when I watched him die on a hotel room floor. The hotel by the way, that he had just bought – part of chasing his American dream. That dream died with him, just out of reach, by literally minutes. We can all see that any one of us can die any second, but most of us ignore that, live in denial, and waste our living minutes anyway.

Things are changing for me. Or maybe more accurately, I feel the need for some changes so I’m going to make some changes. There is much I have done wrong, and much I can do better. What we often forget while we are thinking of where we want to be in five years, is that it’s what we do today that gets us there. Most people wait until four years and eleven months to realize they never got on the train. Sometimes ten years get behind you, because no one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun. More Floyd, see how easy that is?

Today I’m getting off the hamster wheel. Maybe that means the devil has finally answered my call and I’ve got a soul to sign away, but so be it. My plan was never to be slid into a pine box, it was always to jump off a cliff in a ball of flames. Better to burn out, than fade away. Def Leppard, not Floyd – but it works here.

I’ve had to rethink a lot of things lately. All my life if someone messed with me I beat them up. Now I carry a gun, so a lifelong strategy just went right out the window. Not an easy adjustment. All the things I want to change about my life require time and focus. Maybe even those dreaded twins of dedication and discipline. Almost hurts to say those words. Whenever you apply time and focus to something, it means you remove it from something else. There are several things I am going to be doing less of for awhile, one of them being social media, which is the whole point of this speech. With my books and my social media presence (because the two pretty much go hand in hand if you want to do it right) I have an enormous footprint. No, not a made-up carbon footprint, a real life Google one. Search my name in Google and I pretty much fill the first two pages. Go ahead, try it. I triple dog dare you. It’s fun, but not so fun. It takes… You guessed it, time and focus. Exactly those two things I just said I had to apply somewhere else.

So I’m backing away from social media for a bit, to spend time and focus on some other things. I think it’s a good idea for everyone to do once in a while really. The internet is not the same AOL dial-up fun of “Oh look…porn!” that it used to be before some of you were even born. It’s now a complete shit show of misguided politics, obnoxious ignorant opinions, and the regurgitation of completely false propaganda and no one cares because knee jerk reactions are the name of the game these days. And people literally live in that world day in and day out. Imagine the mental cancer that’s causing. I see some people who do nothing with their life for years but live on social media, and I can only think my god what are you doing to yourself? When you have to be on social media because you want to sell books, it’s goddamn exhausting.

So, I’m out for awhile. How long? Don’t know. Might be twelve minutes, might be forever, but I doubt it. The 8th Day will be out all over the world shortly, provided Covid hasn’t somehow slowed things down at Amazon. I might take all that book money and buy an old Scottish castle and live off the grid, or I might relapse and buy some better and faster internet so I can knee-jerk post better and faster than any of you. We’ll just have to wait and see.

So stay well, try to be kind to each other. Take my advice and try stepping away from the internet for even just a minute. Go outside and look at a tree or something. It just might spark some primordial life back into you.

The 8th Day is coming. Buy it, read it, leave me a review on Amazon and then tell two friends about me.

I’ll see you on the other side, sooner or later.